Nick Thune's Absinthe Relapse and the Comeback That Followed
Comedian and actor Nick Thune gets brutally honest about his sobriety journey—getting sober at 17, staying dry for 12 years, and the one drink in Vegas that triggered a decade-long relapse. From absinthe and near-death moments to a comeback rooted in faith, fatherhood, and self-forgiveness, this is one of Soberness’ most raw and redemptive episodes yet. If you've ever questioned your relationship with alcohol, struggled with shame, or wondered what recovery can really look like—this conversation is for you.
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00:00:00:00 - 00:00:11:05
Speaker 2
I was having full conversations in the backyard of this rehab, with nobody, nobody I there's a dog there. I thought that was there. That wasn't there. I was talking on a TV remote, thinking it was a phone.
00:00:11:07 - 00:00:26:01
Speaker 2
I mean, and they were basically watching me, and I know somebody that they came in the day that I came into rehab. She was really, like, young. She's like 17 and I see her in meetings still. And she was like, it was wild because everybody there was kind of following you around.
00:00:26:03 - 00:00:27:08
Speaker 1
To make sure you didn't.
00:00:27:10 - 00:00:47:07
Speaker 2
Yeah. And they were like, don't tell them that that's not a phone. You know, like and so then in the middle of the night they found me naked like in the backyard of the rehab, seizure. And so they rushed me to the hospital because at that point, they couldn't they weren't equipped to keep me comfortable and alive.
00:00:47:11 - 00:01:15:13
Speaker 2
Yeah. And then I woke up days and days later in a hospital and all I really remember. And it's so weird that this moment is a memory. It's. I can see it was. Well, because when I, my arm is all bruised up and they were like, yeah, they couldn't get an IV into you and you and and what I remember was, is that when I was getting rolled down the hallway and I could see the ceiling and a doctor and I remember getting to the hospital, but I was like, somehow awake.
00:01:15:13 - 00:01:16:21
Speaker 2
And I bet it was because they were like.
00:01:17:12 - 00:01:26:10
Speaker 2
He goes, Nick, I'm so sorry, Mr. Thune or whatever. You're strapped down because you've been combative. We're trying to save your life. And then it was just like I was out.
00:01:26:10 - 00:01:39:11
Speaker 1
So, Nick Thune, missionary. Let's just take it away. So we're supposed to be talking about sobriety, and we will get there. But first, I didn't know you're a man of the cloth.
00:01:39:12 - 00:01:43:07
Speaker 2
Yeah, I yeah, I, I love cloth, and I.
00:01:43:09 - 00:01:43:23
Speaker 3
I.
00:01:44:01 - 00:02:05:20
Speaker 2
I, I grew up well, I got sober when I was 17. I got thrown into rehab y, just for being, a kid. Then at least I have a good time. I was drinking at school. I mean, that's why I got expelled for that in a in a fight that I got in off campus, but, like, it was.
00:02:05:20 - 00:02:13:14
Speaker 2
So it was. I was definitely a life I won, like, when I, when I got out of rehab, went back to high school.
00:02:13:15 - 00:02:18:13
Speaker 1
I think they're coming to get you right now. I. What is it, guys? Please, please. He's recovered. Recovered.
00:02:18:15 - 00:02:19:13
Speaker 2
Just want to check my heart.
00:02:19:14 - 00:02:21:04
Speaker 3
Yeah.
00:02:21:06 - 00:02:28:01
Speaker 2
When I got out of rehab and went back to school the next year when I was, I was, like, very sober and found God and all that stuff.
00:02:28:01 - 00:02:32:14
Speaker 1
So you bought it. You weren't like, I'm just going to pretend I'm sober in order to get the fuck out of here.
00:02:32:14 - 00:02:34:12
Speaker 2
Yeah, no, that's what I first thought.
00:02:34:12 - 00:02:37:20
Speaker 1
And then when did you see the light?
00:02:37:22 - 00:02:52:14
Speaker 2
It just hit me. It that. The thing about it not being normal is what hit me. Like the thing about it's not normal that I brought a Snapple bottle to school with alcohol. It's not normal that I got into a fight even. I mean, yeah, sure, kids get in fights, but that wasn't normal.
00:02:52:15 - 00:02:55:16
Speaker 1
Nick, why were you hitting it so hard?
00:02:55:18 - 00:02:58:13
Speaker 2
I don't know, I it's funny, people are like, I.
00:02:58:15 - 00:03:00:19
Speaker 1
You say people always ask you that. Then I'm going to move on to the next question.
00:03:00:19 - 00:03:01:07
Speaker 2
No, no, no.
00:03:01:07 - 00:03:03:15
Speaker 1
I hate when people say, oh yeah, I always get asked that. No no no.
00:03:03:15 - 00:03:20:01
Speaker 2
No, no one. I mean, I think people always ask that question. They ask how like alcoholics kind of have that. And I mean, honestly, I just didn't know any other way to do anything. I don't know how to open a box of Wheat Thins and just eat two of them. Yeah, like I'm going to eat the whole box.
00:03:20:04 - 00:03:21:07
Speaker 2
Yeah.
00:03:21:09 - 00:03:22:06
Speaker 1
It's how we're wired.
00:03:22:06 - 00:03:24:17
Speaker 2
Sorry, everyone. Yeah, just don't give me stuff.
00:03:24:21 - 00:03:29:00
Speaker 1
And don't give near my frickin mouth if I got some Wheat Thins going.
00:03:29:01 - 00:03:32:11
Speaker 2
Yeah, I mean, maybe Triscuits. I can't make it through. That's just to dry mouth.
00:03:32:17 - 00:03:35:11
Speaker 1
Why do people like Triscuits? I love them, you?
00:03:35:12 - 00:03:40:14
Speaker 2
Yeah. Oh, eat all of it. Really? Well, yeah. Eat all of everything that people give me. I know.
00:03:40:16 - 00:03:43:04
Speaker 1
I know, I know, we have no off switch.
00:03:43:10 - 00:03:51:06
Speaker 2
I know people are like when we go to dinner. Like, do you want to share something? It's like, no. Well, let's just get to of that thing because I'm actually really plan to eat my whole portion right.
00:03:51:09 - 00:03:52:21
Speaker 1
And part of yours. So back off.
00:03:52:22 - 00:03:56:10
Speaker 2
Yeah. Since you're only going to have half of again, I'll take the rest of that.
00:03:56:12 - 00:04:14:16
Speaker 1
100%. I asked the question because. Oh, yeah. I'm a little actually, at the moment, personally disturbed because no matter what, you eat up like, hey, Cat, let's go hit the links and play golf, whatever, or let's you know, go to 42nd Street and taking a peep show. Not that we would do that. That's gross. But, did.
00:04:14:16 - 00:04:17:05
Speaker 2
You choose two things you don't ever do golf and people, you know.
00:04:17:08 - 00:04:19:05
Speaker 1
How do you know? I don't do keep shows like somebody.
00:04:19:05 - 00:04:21:19
Speaker 2
Came up to me, they said, hey, let's go get into a croquet tournament.
00:04:21:22 - 00:04:28:12
Speaker 1
I know I feel like a million things I do all the time, but like, but but even croquet, I'm like, that sounds lovely. It's like.
00:04:28:12 - 00:04:32:02
Speaker 2
You know, just catch a game of cricket. And I think I was obviously.
00:04:32:04 - 00:04:53:17
Speaker 1
But yes, though that is the thing. Like, literally any situation is still 11 years in. Yeah. Still I'm like, great, that would be so much fun with a gin and tonic. But the point is, I used to think I was just born an alcoholic, and it's how I'm wired and there's nothing deeper and that's not. And I was like, so cool with that.
00:04:53:19 - 00:05:16:17
Speaker 1
But now about nine. No, really. Only like ten years into sobriety did I start to see what I was masking. And I am not seeing that that was your case. I'm just saying I've really gained a different appreciation for why I was a drinker. The longer I stay sober. So I'm wondering why you think you were.
00:05:16:19 - 00:05:38:06
Speaker 2
I can track all of my, things. I feel like I can. I can really think and think about, like, why am I sensitive to sound? Why am I sense? Why? Why was I never able to do homework? Why? Why did I fail all of my classes? Like, why did I immediately start drinking all of the alcohol that was in front of me?
00:05:38:08 - 00:05:50:06
Speaker 2
And I just think that it it goes down to an insecure kid that, like, I got I think I got my parents when we moved at a pretty crucial time.
00:05:50:07 - 00:05:51:08
Speaker 1
How old were you?
00:05:51:10 - 00:06:06:19
Speaker 2
Six, like just up to Seattle. And I remember, like, kind of getting introduced to this classroom, and I remember, like, walking in and the teachers, like, Nicholas Thune. And I was like, yeah. She goes, oh, we're going to call you Nick because there's already another Nicholas in here. And that was like my first, like you were actually changing your name.
00:06:06:21 - 00:06:07:22
Speaker 3
And you.
00:06:07:22 - 00:06:27:04
Speaker 2
Moved here to Seattle or changing your. My mom tried to call the school like, his name is Nicholas. And they were like, it's it's too late. Not, you know, they're already calling him Nick, but then I think that I had this kind of there is a hole in me that I know happened at some point, and I don't like it happened.
00:06:27:04 - 00:06:29:12
Speaker 1
Or you came with the Hulk.
00:06:29:14 - 00:06:51:00
Speaker 2
I think it I just think it I think there's a place where we can all have it, and I think that I didn't feel it. You know, I, I, I mean, I'm not like, I don't know that medically, but I do feel like I do feel like there, you know, we kind of show up and, and it's like, all right, you're here and you're available to accept all of the things that are around you.
00:06:51:05 - 00:07:09:19
Speaker 2
You're the love, noise, anxiety, all the things that your parents are pushing out and doing. And and I think that that at that point and maybe my parents life at that point in my life, I think that what I caught was stress. We're not we don't have we don't have money. We had we're going to lose our house.
00:07:09:19 - 00:07:30:00
Speaker 2
We're going to move, you know, like all this stuff. And I think that that anxiety and I'm not I don't know, I again, I really don't know the answer to all this, but I as I try and piece things apart and I don't I'm not nostalgic in the sense and I don't I don't dwell too much on the past and and I try not to even think about what's going to happen in 5 or 10 minutes.
00:07:30:00 - 00:07:33:19
Speaker 1
But something really great is happening in five minutes. So stick around.
00:07:33:21 - 00:08:00:13
Speaker 2
But, you know, I, I, I, I have kind of thought through all that stuff and I mean, I just remember like watching when I was really bad, watching TV and seeing like ESPN or the news and being like, how are they sober? Like, how is that person right now? How do they not, like, sneak a few drinks and have like a water bottle under them that has straight vodka in it?
00:08:00:16 - 00:08:20:15
Speaker 2
Right. Because that's what I had. I mean, I was driving down the street, reaching under my back seat to grab a fifth of vodka and just kneeing the steering wheel and downing it like a guy that was thirsty and found some Gatorade boy, and then vomiting.
00:08:20:15 - 00:08:22:01
Speaker 3
It.
00:08:22:03 - 00:08:24:01
Speaker 1
Just so you can make room to do it again.
00:08:24:01 - 00:08:28:16
Speaker 2
Yeah, and the vomiting really started to kind of pile up towards the end. But yeah, I kind of held together for a while.
00:08:28:18 - 00:08:53:10
Speaker 1
You know, we've only just met, but you are exactly the kind of alcoholic I love because I feel that gnarly and have lived that gnarly and, it's gross, man. I mean, I find my actions of the past to have been gross, and that urge for me is so gritty and disgusting. And I would drink out of a shoe if I had to.
00:08:53:10 - 00:08:56:03
Speaker 1
And so anyway, I since we are.
00:08:56:05 - 00:08:59:18
Speaker 2
Do that now, people do drink out of shoes. That's the thing. They call it a shoe. You know.
00:08:59:18 - 00:09:00:04
Speaker 1
That's not.
00:09:00:04 - 00:09:04:08
Speaker 2
True. They do they, they they take their shoe off, they pour a full beer in it, and then they.
00:09:04:10 - 00:09:05:04
Speaker 1
They don't.
00:09:05:06 - 00:09:06:04
Speaker 2
That's a real thing.
00:09:06:06 - 00:09:07:07
Speaker 1
Well, we should go back to drink.
00:09:07:07 - 00:09:10:11
Speaker 2
And those people, I would actually say the people that do that aren't alcoholics.
00:09:10:13 - 00:09:11:13
Speaker 1
No. They're morons.
00:09:11:13 - 00:09:22:15
Speaker 2
They're just normal people that are like, I guess I'll try shoe thing, whereas like an alcoholics, like, I'll just I mean, while you guys are doing that, I'm going to sneak five shots at the bar when they come back, like, I'm just having a beer like you guys do.
00:09:22:15 - 00:09:25:02
Speaker 1
Yeah, because we're real alcoholics.
00:09:25:06 - 00:09:38:02
Speaker 2
Yeah, well, we that was my thing, though. Like, I would go to everywhere I went. I was drinking more than everybody knew. Yeah, yeah. And presenting as if I was just casually having a glass of wine.
00:09:38:04 - 00:09:40:06
Speaker 1
When you'd pre-game for hours ahead.
00:09:40:06 - 00:09:56:06
Speaker 2
Yeah, but also like the feeling of going into someone's kitchen when you're at the house and everyone's in. And I saw where they put their alcohol on that. Now we're all in the backyard or we're all in the other room. I'll be like, I'm going to go bathroom. And I would sneak and I would be like sneaking shots out of just any booze.
00:09:56:08 - 00:10:20:07
Speaker 2
And somehow nobody ever walked in on me. My, my, my wife did. My ex-wife did. This is when she left me that same night. No I didn't, she walked in on me a couple times. Also, the one of the times that she caught me was, a red light camera. I got, I came home once and there was just like, you know, in LA, you get if you run a red light that certain places, there's a photo of you and it gets sent to the.
00:10:20:09 - 00:10:23:01
Speaker 1
Which isn't creepy. Your big brother at all.
00:10:23:03 - 00:10:39:18
Speaker 2
No, but if there were, if there were to be, like a Wikipedia page for what it for called what being drunk looks like, they would take that photo of me with one eye at a red light and like 2 a.m. in LA. Like it? No one has looked more drunk cause you didn't have to ask. Were you drunk?
00:10:39:21 - 00:10:40:17
Speaker 1
Right? There was. No.
00:10:40:17 - 00:10:43:13
Speaker 2
She just said, this is unacceptable.
00:10:43:15 - 00:10:49:00
Speaker 1
I'm so sorry that that was your reality. And I'm really happy you made it home safely that night.
00:10:49:02 - 00:10:53:16
Speaker 2
I don't know, like it was. This might be the aftermath of that. I. This could be a whole shit.
00:10:53:20 - 00:10:55:20
Speaker 3
He the afterlife. Yeah.
00:10:55:22 - 00:11:22:09
Speaker 1
God, please. Listen. I have stopped down these interviews before to thank God and or whatever you believe in that. And I'm assuming here you didn't hurt anybody while you were driving. You didn't hurt yourself. I, the thing that sends ice water through my veins more than any of the dumb shit that I mean, is the driving. The driving, the driving in LA is just a breeding ground.
00:11:22:10 - 00:11:28:03
Speaker 1
I mean, now with Uber, it's different. You know, I went to high school in LA and we were all drinking and driving.
00:11:28:05 - 00:11:36:18
Speaker 2
And that's the thing about having my son, because I got sober, my son was five and like constantly finding excuses why I couldn't drive, you know.
00:11:36:18 - 00:11:37:10
Speaker 1
Yep, yep.
00:11:37:10 - 00:11:43:15
Speaker 2
Because that somehow is like the place where I was really drawing the line was like my son's life.
00:11:43:17 - 00:11:53:00
Speaker 1
Well, thank God, because if you didn't, then you were in trouble. Okay, so let's go back. So. So you're 17, you're stuck in Oregon, and you see the light.
00:11:53:02 - 00:12:09:08
Speaker 2
Yeah, I saw I just saw that. I saw that it wasn't normal. It was. I, I remember thinking like, this wasn't an accident, that I'm sitting here in rehab. This isn't normal. Like normal people don't end up in a rehab. A walk down rehab in central Oregon. There must be something to this.
00:12:09:10 - 00:12:14:10
Speaker 1
Well, but some people say it was my parents. They're nuts. They shouldn't have put me here. But you actually were like, it's me.
00:12:14:14 - 00:12:32:10
Speaker 2
Well, yeah. The amount of kids that parents put into rehab that don't need to go there is probably under 0.00% like it's not. And that there's a reason like a good kid. And that's being honest and living like their parents aren't going to be like, you got a bad grade, we're throwing you into rehab. It's like, no. Yep.
00:12:32:16 - 00:12:39:00
Speaker 2
And believe me, I've seen the kids in rehab. They're it's like a repeat offense thing that they're just. Oh, it's it's it's ugly.
00:12:39:00 - 00:12:43:21
Speaker 1
Okay. So you're there. You see, this isn't normal. You don't blame your parents. You get clean and sober.
00:12:44:01 - 00:13:03:00
Speaker 2
And I left, and I found God pretty quickly. I because I had already been going to church. My parents had already been putting me in a church, and I love church. Which church? It was just like a non-denominational Christian, like, you know, like maybe like four people would stand and raise their hand during a worship song and everyone would be like, oh God, look at this car, guys.
00:13:03:01 - 00:13:09:23
Speaker 2
Like putting a show on. There wasn't like a, you know, like Episcopalian. It wasn't like people like running up and down the aisle, you know, as a very like.
00:13:10:01 - 00:13:11:07
Speaker 1
Like Unitarians almost.
00:13:11:11 - 00:13:26:01
Speaker 2
Yeah. I don't even know. I don't actually I don't even know which ones do that. I just know, like maybe, maybe method. I just know that there's more animated Christians, and then there's a Christians that are just like, I truly believe, you know, but like, I can't really.
00:13:26:03 - 00:13:26:22
Speaker 1
Like American Gothic.
00:13:26:22 - 00:13:29:11
Speaker 2
Like, I'm not going to do that. Yeah. But yeah.
00:13:29:13 - 00:13:31:15
Speaker 1
So okay, so you found God and.
00:13:31:15 - 00:13:32:13
Speaker 2
God found church.
00:13:32:14 - 00:13:36:05
Speaker 1
And you legitimately were, proselytizing.
00:13:36:07 - 00:13:58:10
Speaker 2
Yeah. And I liked it because first of all, it kind of fixed the attention thing for me. Like, now I'm the kid that got saved. And so everybody wants to talk to me and everybody wants to hear my story. Nick's going to talk, you know, like this was a lot of my first public speaking experiences was at church sharing my story.
00:13:58:12 - 00:14:15:23
Speaker 2
Then they would have me, like making announcements like I couldn't like I wasn't involved in leadership, but they were like they wanted to give me things to keep me and like to, like, kind of utilize this guy that's obviously like, talented at something. Yeah, we don't know what. So they would like I would be the guy that makes announcements.
00:14:16:01 - 00:14:21:23
Speaker 2
Right. And the announcements were like, hey guys, can't park in this parking lot. You got to park in the other one. And.
00:14:21:23 - 00:14:24:23
Speaker 1
We throwing you one liners like, was this the beginning of your comedy career?
00:14:24:23 - 00:14:34:18
Speaker 2
Oh, yeah. No, I was I was immediately and I like I would always like end on something like and if anybody wants to talk after the service, say, I'm Pastor Nick and I would walk off and they would come and be like, he's.
00:14:34:18 - 00:14:35:00
Speaker 1
He's.
00:14:35:03 - 00:14:37:19
Speaker 2
Not a pastor. You actually don't shouldn't talk to him.
00:14:37:19 - 00:14:44:14
Speaker 1
Do you think, do you think Jesus was a stand up? Like, do you think he was really funny? And that's what kept people hanging around.
00:14:44:15 - 00:14:46:07
Speaker 2
I bet he wasn't funny.
00:14:46:12 - 00:14:47:08
Speaker 1
You think?
00:14:47:10 - 00:14:48:01
Speaker 2
I mean, I.
00:14:48:03 - 00:14:51:06
Speaker 1
Did all those people hanging around because, you know, it's the funny that keeps you.
00:14:51:06 - 00:14:54:22
Speaker 2
It is the funny that keeps you. But also it's the listening that keeps you.
00:14:55:00 - 00:14:56:04
Speaker 1
And I'm sorry.
00:14:56:08 - 00:15:03:02
Speaker 2
Like, well, I can't hear most things, but I hear too. I'm trying to not hear, really listen.
00:15:03:02 - 00:15:10:02
Speaker 1
But we're both, you know, over 40. My hearing. I feel like it's just been taking a dive in like all the years and bands and clubs is. That's what it is.
00:15:10:02 - 00:15:12:06
Speaker 2
My side is really going harder is.
00:15:12:08 - 00:15:18:15
Speaker 1
What happened seem senior day. I was like, oh, I got to put my contacts in there in,
00:15:18:17 - 00:15:25:15
Speaker 2
I have the other day I was like, oh, I'm going to enlarge the font on my phone. I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it. I don't care what people do.
00:15:25:16 - 00:15:26:23
Speaker 1
They laugh at us. Yeah.
00:15:26:23 - 00:15:34:12
Speaker 2
You know what? I did those because you can get like a screen on your phone that you can't see your phone. Yeah. Certain angles. Yeah. And I got it. Just cause I don't want people to see that. I enlarge my font.
00:15:34:14 - 00:15:46:03
Speaker 1
We are old. We're old. Okay. So. Okay, so what happens? This is you're you're you're preaching. You're doing the stuff. And how long is that sober stretch my sober.
00:15:46:03 - 00:15:48:15
Speaker 2
Thank you. I was about 12 years.
00:15:48:20 - 00:15:50:08
Speaker 3
Oh, wow.
00:15:50:10 - 00:16:07:07
Speaker 2
12 years of no alcohol. And I did, like, start to, I mean, in the. I am, like, you know, like, I don't do drugs or anything. I don't take anything that would be addictive or. But, I did, like, start to smoke a little bit of weed. And I think because I was really, like, alcohol is my problem.
00:16:07:09 - 00:16:16:11
Speaker 2
Yeah. But then when I got then when I relapsed, it was, it wasn't just like a couple years after I started drinking. It started it was day one.
00:16:16:13 - 00:16:23:04
Speaker 1
Okay, so it's 12 years into your sobriety and you wake up one day, it's like a Wednesday and you think today's a day or, well, I was.
00:16:23:04 - 00:16:30:11
Speaker 2
Flying to Vegas to do a show and I thought, when I land, I'm going to get a drink. And so because you.
00:16:30:11 - 00:16:31:10
Speaker 1
Were feeling strong.
00:16:31:12 - 00:16:49:11
Speaker 2
No, because I just was like, I want to I'm, I can do this. I'm like responsible. I've changed my life. I have a career. I did all the things that I never thought I would ever do, okay? I never thought I would make more than a teacher salary like I, you know, growing up. And I was okay with that, and I really was.
00:16:49:11 - 00:17:02:15
Speaker 2
And I still the money is not a thing that I care too much about. But like I, I was like, I'm fine. I'm like living, you know? And, I landed in Vegas and I got a beer and I was like, I had to try a I want to try absinthe.
00:17:02:16 - 00:17:03:23
Speaker 1
Wow. You just went to it.
00:17:03:23 - 00:17:22:10
Speaker 2
Yeah. Because Mitch Hedberg, my favorite comedian, had a joke about absinthe, and I was like, I want to try this thing. And so I went to the bar and ordered some absinthe drink at the pool. And it was like, basically like a Long Island iced tea. It was just like a lot of alcohol. And with a mixer and, and I took out to my room and I just show shows that night at the casino that I was staying at.
00:17:22:10 - 00:17:32:06
Speaker 2
And, the next thing I know in my room, I wake up to, the door is being pounded on and my show started a half hour ago and I'm passed out on my bed.
00:17:32:08 - 00:17:33:21
Speaker 1
And that makes me so sad.
00:17:33:21 - 00:17:45:19
Speaker 2
Second drink, second drink and it and it and it. And then I went home. This is the funny part is I went home cause I had my. I was married at the time and I didn't tell my wife.
00:17:45:21 - 00:17:47:03
Speaker 1
And then I would show babe.
00:17:47:05 - 00:17:48:09
Speaker 2
Oh, great. Everything's great.
00:17:48:09 - 00:17:49:06
Speaker 1
Yeah.
00:17:49:08 - 00:17:53:04
Speaker 2
You know. Yeah. You know, what I was thinking has just been doing a lot of thinking. I think I could have a drink.
00:17:53:09 - 00:17:54:22
Speaker 1
Oh, that's a great idea.
00:17:54:22 - 00:18:03:23
Speaker 2
Let's go ahead and have Mexican and so like that week I like, presented, you know, like started kind of I think I think I just want to have, you know, I want to be able to have a drink with you guys.
00:18:03:23 - 00:18:07:03
Speaker 1
And I was like, cool man. Yeah, I think you can handle it.
00:18:07:05 - 00:18:12:21
Speaker 2
She was like, if it's a problem, I'm going to say something. And you had to stop. And I was like, oh, of course.
00:18:12:22 - 00:18:15:18
Speaker 1
Had she known you as a drinker?
00:18:15:20 - 00:18:31:03
Speaker 2
She. No, she didn't know me as a drinker. She knew me as sober and and, well, she didn't like it. She she knew. I mean, anybody that meets me can tell like, which direction it would go, I think. Okay. And it's a fun one. But, for the people around me, I think. Yeah.
00:18:31:04 - 00:18:32:16
Speaker 1
Okay. Until it's not, I guess.
00:18:32:18 - 00:18:33:19
Speaker 2
No, to a certain point, I.
00:18:33:19 - 00:18:38:05
Speaker 1
Mean, I, I'm only gleaning that because you keep seeing ex-wives. I'm assuming it stopped being fun.
00:18:38:07 - 00:18:44:04
Speaker 2
Yes. Also just life. You know, life go, it comes and goes, and and.
00:18:44:06 - 00:18:45:12
Speaker 1
Relationships are really hard.
00:18:45:14 - 00:18:46:06
Speaker 2
Oh my God.
00:18:46:08 - 00:18:50:16
Speaker 1
Yeah. Not ours. Baby. Yeah, my husband's right there, and our relationship is not hard.
00:18:50:20 - 00:18:54:08
Speaker 2
Yeah, I could tell. Yeah, I can tell. You guys probably never had any fights or anything.
00:18:54:10 - 00:18:58:17
Speaker 1
It's not us, you loser. You had fights now. Okay, sorry, I didn't.
00:18:58:20 - 00:19:01:03
Speaker 2
I know I, I failed, but.
00:19:01:04 - 00:19:05:02
Speaker 1
You did not. By the way, marriage is really, really hard.
00:19:05:02 - 00:19:05:22
Speaker 2
I not even married.
00:19:06:00 - 00:19:23:20
Speaker 1
We've been married. We're coming up on 22 years, 22 years. And actually, I just came back from L.A., where my parents were celebrating their 60th. Oh, my. So. Oh my God. Right. Yeah. It it it takes a lot of working takes. Look, I think really, it takes luck. It takes luck that you grow together. Sorry you didn't happen.
00:19:23:20 - 00:19:24:14
Speaker 1
Yeah.
00:19:24:16 - 00:19:27:18
Speaker 2
No, no. Know. But it does it. You guys have kids?
00:19:28:00 - 00:19:30:03
Speaker 1
We do have two. Yep. Boys.
00:19:30:04 - 00:19:34:01
Speaker 2
And then. Then that makes me surprised that you're still married.
00:19:34:03 - 00:19:34:20
Speaker 3
Yeah.
00:19:34:22 - 00:19:38:04
Speaker 2
I don't know how anyone that has kids is marrying.
00:19:38:05 - 00:19:39:03
Speaker 1
Marrying?
00:19:39:05 - 00:19:44:01
Speaker 2
It's just so hard. It's parenting styles and, you know, like.
00:19:44:03 - 00:19:49:09
Speaker 1
Yeah, well, that's where the luck comes in. If you happen to have complementary parenting styles. Yes. Right.
00:19:49:09 - 00:19:53:23
Speaker 2
That and also you can let the other you can allow your partner to have a break.
00:19:54:01 - 00:19:56:07
Speaker 1
Whereas each other. Yeah.
00:19:56:09 - 00:20:10:02
Speaker 2
That that is where I feel like most things start going. It's like somebody is working harder than the other and it starts to become an uneven thing. And then this person knows it in, this person knows it, but I'm not going to say anything. And I'm working hard. I mean, you know.
00:20:10:04 - 00:20:17:23
Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well and you're on the road. So that's also an added element of fuckery. Yeah. So okay so and I.
00:20:17:23 - 00:20:20:00
Speaker 2
Was an alcoholic.
00:20:20:02 - 00:20:40:12
Speaker 1
Right. Well there's that and it does get in the way I think. Well frankly not just because he's sitting here but hats off to that person for sticking with me through my alcoholism. And I mean, that's another big part of the luck, right? Yeah. Like he could have rightfully been like I'm out. And and thank God. And give me a chance to get sober and and enjoy our life now.
00:20:40:12 - 00:20:57:03
Speaker 1
So it's but it's not easy. And the worst is when people say oh Cat, he's so great for sticking with you through all that. I'm like, I can say that, but don't act like it's a hardship post. Yeah, I'm fucking awesome anyway, so it's good. Yeah, you got to know that. Yeah. But back to you. Okay, so so you have,
00:20:57:08 - 00:21:01:22
Speaker 1
So you're sober 12 years. You go to Vegas, absinthe happens.
00:21:01:22 - 00:21:02:22
Speaker 2
Yeah.
00:21:03:00 - 00:21:06:00
Speaker 1
And then how long until.
00:21:06:02 - 00:21:08:17
Speaker 2
A good tenure, that ten year.
00:21:08:17 - 00:21:12:15
Speaker 1
Run and where people around you be like, hey, man, remember you the sober guy.
00:21:12:16 - 00:21:43:04
Speaker 2
Towards the end? It's really towards the I think people I, you know, somebody that is somebody that does what I do for a living and I'm really good at selling things to people. And then like selling that I'm okay. And selling the things are great. And. Oh, you saw that? Yeah. I'm hung over. But it was just we had, you know, but I was the guy that people would, first of all, girlfriends and wives after one night of their husband or boyfriend, going out with me would be like, you can't go.
00:21:43:08 - 00:21:43:18
Speaker 1
Again, right?
00:21:43:19 - 00:21:59:17
Speaker 2
And especially on a weekdays, you know, because, like, it's not normal. They come home at four. It's like they took me to his studio after his show and, you know, and because that was my whole life was like performing and going and being out at nightclubs and stuff. And it it's it's fun.
00:21:59:20 - 00:22:00:07
Speaker 1
Yeah.
00:22:00:07 - 00:22:19:04
Speaker 2
It's really and it's fun and it's really hard to, kind of keep that, you know, even it, it's like, it's like an alcoholics or and anybody are trying to kind of keep this even, like, you know, like when a, like an old car has a steering wheel and you're like, constantly trying to figure out where the edges are.
00:22:19:04 - 00:22:27:01
Speaker 2
And you're like, you know, you know, like it's got like about two inches of wiggle room where it hits the thing right? It's like you're trying to constantly keep it right in the middle of that.
00:22:27:01 - 00:22:40:20
Speaker 1
Oh yeah. And we're like, so good at convincing ourselves like, this is I'm going to get it this time. I'm going to have it down the middle. Yeah, I hear that. So okay. So now we're you're ten years into this drinking. Your wife became an ex-wife. At which part in that ten years.
00:22:40:22 - 00:22:42:18
Speaker 2
At the end of it. Yeah.
00:22:42:20 - 00:22:45:08
Speaker 1
And that, did that get you sober?
00:22:45:10 - 00:22:59:19
Speaker 2
It happened after sobriety. Oh, it was coming for a long time. Okay. You know, and, the thing about it is, too, is when you when you get out of. When I was in rehab, I was there for 60 days.
00:22:59:21 - 00:23:00:23
Speaker 1
Second time or first time?
00:23:01:01 - 00:23:03:10
Speaker 2
The second time. Okay. First time. It was 30 days.
00:23:03:12 - 00:23:05:14
Speaker 1
Okay.
00:23:05:16 - 00:23:19:08
Speaker 2
And they were like, you know, they kept. I just did whatever they told me to. And I know that it's a moneymaking thing and they're making money, but, they were like, we think you should stay for 16. I just said, then I'll stay for 60 because this is not I'm never going to go back to that life.
00:23:19:08 - 00:23:26:22
Speaker 2
I mean, I was a very like it wasn't I, I called somebody and said, take me to rehab. I wasn't like tricked into it.
00:23:27:01 - 00:23:33:09
Speaker 1
Was there a moment that you remember sitting up and going, this shit has to end, or.
00:23:33:11 - 00:23:34:23
Speaker 2
Slop over and over?
00:23:35:01 - 00:23:36:02
Speaker 3
Yeah, yeah.
00:23:36:02 - 00:23:55:10
Speaker 2
Oh my God. I mean, like over and over as I'm like, and just dropped my son off and had to pull over under a bridge to throw up because I'm so hung over from the night before, you know, like and like that drop off, like avoiding, like kind of having an eight foot bubble where it's like, if anyone gets within eight feet, they're going to smell that.
00:23:55:10 - 00:24:00:19
Speaker 2
I yeah. You know, so it's like, hey, you know, just kind of like really trying to stay away from people.
00:24:00:21 - 00:24:05:20
Speaker 1
Oh, God, I, I really, really relate. And then how long ago was that?
00:24:05:21 - 00:24:15:04
Speaker 2
Six years. Well, six years in October is when. When I got sober, so. Yeah, because I never, I never have in years and. Yeah. Congratulation it over. For me, it was a reality.
00:24:15:04 - 00:24:29:20
Speaker 1
Yeah. I used to do Sober October and I was like, counting down the days you make is the hour. Yeah, but at midnight oh one on November 1st, I was hitting it without question. I hated Sober October.
00:24:29:22 - 00:24:33:14
Speaker 2
But you had to do it to prove to everyone that you're not an alcoholic.
00:24:33:16 - 00:24:35:19
Speaker 1
Man. Everyone uses fucking alcoholic.
00:24:35:21 - 00:24:43:03
Speaker 2
You have it in your mind. You thought. I mean, I just remember, like, anytime I did try and, like, do something, it was to be like, yeah, I could do it, you know?
00:24:43:08 - 00:24:43:14
Speaker 3
Yeah.
00:24:43:19 - 00:24:45:04
Speaker 2
I don't want to do this.
00:24:45:07 - 00:25:15:15
Speaker 1
I want to. Yeah. I feel like I still don't really want to. Like, I know that I know we are living a better life and it is all the it's all that and more, but all the slogans and more. But that said, I love, I loved alcohol, I loved drinking, I loved that constant companion. I loved the not having to sit with myself because I was always sitting with the alcohol and thinking about it anyway, which was the worst part is that it took up so much time.
00:25:15:15 - 00:25:30:01
Speaker 1
And that's my biggest regret, is how much time of my life I lost. But also, I think what's hard is being, sober and with your feelings and with their thoughts and people without the screen of booze and things.
00:25:30:03 - 00:25:30:20
Speaker 2
It's painful.
00:25:30:21 - 00:25:32:09
Speaker 1
Right?
00:25:32:11 - 00:26:27:19
Speaker 2
The amount of pain that I went through in the beginning of sobriety was that you just had to constantly say, the only way out is through, and thank God I'm in the middle of something right now, because that means that there's there's an end to this. There has to be.
00:26:27:21 - 00:26:31:18
Speaker 2
I should be able to tell you what book it was. Or the author. I don't know, the Bible.
00:26:31:18 - 00:26:33:03
Speaker 1
Jesus.
00:26:33:05 - 00:26:35:06
Speaker 2
God. Yeah, yeah, I forget. Yeah, I've.
00:26:35:06 - 00:26:35:20
Speaker 1
Heard that one.
00:26:35:20 - 00:26:37:04
Speaker 2
Yeah, it was God in your eyes.
00:26:37:05 - 00:26:38:04
Speaker 3
The seller.
00:26:38:06 - 00:26:53:14
Speaker 2
I know there's some book where a guy talked about pain and talked about running into pain, and it's like he talks about this running back and, he talks about, like, Texas football and football's a big deal in Texas. And, and people, like, really care about high school football. Yeah.
00:26:53:16 - 00:26:55:14
Speaker 1
And I watch Friday Night Lights I know you know.
00:26:55:14 - 00:27:15:18
Speaker 2
Yeah. Yeah. And so they there was a running back who was the best running back that had ever happened in his whole thing was, is you give me the ball in the first play of the game and I'm going to run into the middle. Yeah. I don't care if they're there. I'm running into pain because after that everything else is the same or not as bad.
00:27:15:20 - 00:27:30:13
Speaker 2
And you know, there's the running back to get the ball and they're like trying to get away from people. And this guy just said, I'm going to run into it, because if I get it out of the way, then I'm going to be able to do it over and over again. And it's not really that bad. I can get out of it, you know?
00:27:30:18 - 00:27:47:18
Speaker 2
Yes, especially if I'm ready for it. Like if you're trying to avoid shit and then you get hit, that's where it hurts you. All right? You're like, oh God, I thought I was going to get away from this one. But yeah, so I, I, I, I read that and I thought, I'm just going to run into pain like I'm going to right now make any phone call.
00:27:47:20 - 00:27:51:08
Speaker 2
Like what's a phone call right now. That's painful. You do too.
00:27:51:09 - 00:27:52:00
Speaker 1
Yeah.
00:27:52:02 - 00:27:53:17
Speaker 2
All right. Let's get this fucking over with.
00:27:53:17 - 00:27:54:06
Speaker 1
Really?
00:27:54:06 - 00:28:12:10
Speaker 2
I know that there's people that hear you call and say things, and they have every right to either take it for what it is to say thank you, I love you. I never stopped loving you. I know you were going through it or to be like, I appreciate it, man. Honestly, I'm not ready to hear it, you know?
00:28:12:12 - 00:28:14:11
Speaker 1
Did you have a lot of that? I have, I've had them all.
00:28:14:11 - 00:28:34:12
Speaker 2
Yeah. And I, I've had people, people who don't like me, you know, and I don't know why. Actually, I, I actually don't know what I did and know and that there's one relationship specific that was a friend of mine that I don't know what happened. You just because.
00:28:34:12 - 00:28:40:00
Speaker 1
You don't remember or you can't imagine that it all added up to him not liking you anymore.
00:28:40:01 - 00:29:00:06
Speaker 2
I don't remember, and I don't know what it would have been, but I also like it's so funny. Like, I really sat in this for a long time and I tried texting him and then finally I sent him a text that said, hey man, I just want to say I love you and I hope someday we connect again.
00:29:00:08 - 00:29:01:11
Speaker 1
How'd that go?
00:29:01:13 - 00:29:03:00
Speaker 2
Nothing. No response, no response.
00:29:03:00 - 00:29:04:00
Speaker 1
Maybe you just never.
00:29:04:02 - 00:29:16:04
Speaker 2
No, no, no, he would have reached out. But no. But then like two months ago, he liked an Instagram post. And I'm just like, what is going on here? And to me, this might be a wife that was like, you got it. I don't want you around this guy.
00:29:16:08 - 00:29:39:08
Speaker 1
Yeah. Yes. That could be. If so, I'm watching this. There's got to be a reason he's so likable. Bad. Well, it's really wild that you're saying this because, I was recently back in LA where I had gone to high school and, saw a friend, very similar situation. And I was like, well, for sure, we're back and sent a texting like, hey, man's like, no time has passed.
00:29:39:08 - 00:29:45:09
Speaker 1
So great. Dead air. He does not like me.
00:29:45:09 - 00:29:46:19
Speaker 2
Yeah.
00:29:46:20 - 00:30:01:04
Speaker 1
And it's not about you must like me. I'm like, everyone must like me. Lots of people don't like me. But when it's someone close to you and they just stop liking you or not, just stop it. We obviously write something. It's a it's a terrible feeling.
00:30:01:04 - 00:30:22:01
Speaker 2
If you're going through life. I mean, which I have gone through, I think most of my life trying to get everyone to like me. Yeah. Trying to be kind, trying to, you know, it's not going to work out, you know, and it's not bad. And there's and there's people that I don't like that I, that I, I don't like some people like.
00:30:22:03 - 00:30:34:14
Speaker 1
I just say, who cares? Who cares. Yeah. So there's 8.8 billion people on this planet, you know, like everyone. That's crazy. And now, you know, again, over 40. Do you still care as much of people like, you.
00:30:34:16 - 00:30:38:21
Speaker 2
Know, I'm well, I'm I've started to accept that someone might not like me.
00:30:38:23 - 00:30:40:04
Speaker 1
And how's that feel?
00:30:42:00 - 00:30:42:23
Speaker 2
It freeing.
00:30:43:01 - 00:30:44:07
Speaker 1
Yes. Right.
00:30:44:09 - 00:31:07:09
Speaker 2
It feels very, like I can. It did. It feels like accepting. You know who you are, that you're this flawed kind of thing and that, I mean, like, I remember it's like somebody said to me recently I was talking to somebody, and I. I was like, oh, do you know so-and-so? And they're like, yeah. And I and I was like, oh, what?
00:31:07:09 - 00:31:32:18
Speaker 2
And they go, well. And this is one of those situations where he rear-ended their cousin didn't even know it was this person's cousin. That's kind of in our friend group, okay. And apparently was a dick, to the cousin. And so that got back to them, that this guy that you kind of know was a prick. And so now they have a bad taste about that person because it's situational.
00:31:32:19 - 00:31:49:04
Speaker 2
It's like you were mean to the clerk at the grocery store, right? Well, I remember one time somebody posted that, like, I had somebody posted a photo of me or something, or I don't know what, and somehow a comment and I don't really read comments often, but a comment came to my attention was like, oh yeah, this guy used to come in and get breakfast at the Bright Spot every day.
00:31:49:04 - 00:31:51:02
Speaker 2
And he's not he's not very nice.
00:31:51:04 - 00:31:53:09
Speaker 1
And also screw that person out of your.
00:31:53:09 - 00:31:56:07
Speaker 2
Also. It's just not true because I am, I am nice.
00:31:56:07 - 00:31:57:07
Speaker 1
You seem very nice.
00:31:57:07 - 00:32:05:08
Speaker 2
So I know that I might have been grumpy when I was probably hungover. Who knows? Yeah, I it maybe I forgot to tip. Who knows.
00:32:05:09 - 00:32:07:11
Speaker 1
Maybe that guy wasn't a good server.
00:32:07:13 - 00:32:11:03
Speaker 2
Yeah, in fact, I'm going to go on and say I believe he wasn't.
00:32:11:05 - 00:32:13:18
Speaker 1
I absolutely I'm sure that that's what happened.
00:32:13:20 - 00:32:14:10
Speaker 2
You know who you.
00:32:14:10 - 00:32:21:20
Speaker 1
Are, right? And also right. Stop going out of your way to like, talk about that. Someone wasn't nice. It's social media can go very wrong.
00:32:21:22 - 00:32:22:19
Speaker 2
It can go.
00:32:22:21 - 00:32:43:17
Speaker 1
Oh yeah I think that's that's the place. But I want to rewind for a second to this idea that, you know, it sounds like you've made a bunch of amends, whether it was a step work or not. For the people who don't accept the amends, do you think they also don't accept that alcoholism or addiction at all is a disease?
00:32:43:19 - 00:32:54:23
Speaker 1
Because, like, if someone came to you and said, sorry, I'm a dick, I have cancer, and the chemo just kicked in and I'm really feeling jagged right now, you wouldn't be like, you're a dick. No, but when you're an.
00:32:54:23 - 00:33:06:06
Speaker 2
Alcoholic, I would just, I would, I mean, I would be like, I would give them like a obviously a pass. Well, you know, like for a thing like, especially like that I don't expect to pass for alcohol.
00:33:06:08 - 00:33:09:17
Speaker 1
Okay. This is fascinating why you don't think of it as a disease.
00:33:09:17 - 00:33:30:01
Speaker 2
No, I do okay. I don't I don't think that not everybody can be on the same page as me. You know, like, not everybody has the same experience. Not everybody can believe what I believe that it's. It's not your fault. And I just like that, really. I was like, oh, there's people that don't get that or that don't know that.
00:33:30:01 - 00:33:34:18
Speaker 1
But do you get that, that it's not your fault? Do you think it's not your fault?
00:33:34:20 - 00:33:52:04
Speaker 2
Yes, I, I understand that concept and I, I would say that I do believe in it and I would tell somebody that and I can't say I could also say that I believe in God, but there are moments where I question that, and there are moments where I question that I am a flawed piece of shit that like, actually, it's my problem, right?
00:33:52:05 - 00:34:04:04
Speaker 2
And then there's moments where I realize, no, the brain and the chemistry and that this and all of the things in my, you know, and I'm not blaming a person or a thing, but, you know.
00:34:04:09 - 00:34:06:22
Speaker 1
I live the same life the exact same way.
00:34:06:22 - 00:34:11:08
Speaker 2
Yeah. I mean, you catch me alone, I might question whether green is green.
00:34:11:10 - 00:34:12:01
Speaker 1
It's not green.
00:34:12:04 - 00:34:28:23
Speaker 2
I don't know, I, I the green is a problem for me. We had a, my son's like, drawers in his room when he was a baby. One time, like, after we'd had him for like three years and it was in his room, I said to somebody, they were like, oh, I left it in your son's room.
00:34:28:23 - 00:34:47:13
Speaker 2
And I said, oh, on the green dresser. And my wife turned around, was like, it's black. I'm like, no, it's not. It's like a forest green. And then everyone that came into the house had to confirm that it's black. And I somehow see green when, I don't know, it's something like, if something's really black, I see a green in it.
00:34:47:15 - 00:35:16:11
Speaker 2
Money. It's. I see my hand money everywhere. I, I but I definitely, I mean, no question anything and I, I really understood the okay ness of that with God like when somebody that I really trusted and like, looked up to, talked about faith and what that means and, and you know, like without there is no faith that there's such a, if there's not such a thing as no faith.
00:35:16:11 - 00:35:36:23
Speaker 2
Right. Like, correct. It's like this thing and that's not a deep I'm not like trying to sound deep or whatever, but it it's like this, this Townes Van Zandt lyric where it's like, there ain't no dark until something shines and it's like I, you know, I have to feel that side, and I have to doubt so that when I don't doubt, it really is there.
00:35:37:01 - 00:35:57:06
Speaker 1
I know precisely what you mean. And in fact, I wanted to ask you about it. You said that the first time you got sober, you found God and you were all about it. So now, 12 years later, you go back to your to the rough ways of living. What happened to your relationship with God during that time?
00:35:57:08 - 00:36:32:13
Speaker 2
You know, with God, it definitely I think that I, I think that I, I knew I never believed that there was I never thought there was no God. I never looked at myself in the mirror and thought, you're not an alcoholic, you know, like I knew it was all there. And because I'd been to rehab and because I'd been involved in a program at AA, I always knew that there was something waiting for me, that wherever I was, there was a room full of people not too far from me that would accept me and with open arms and and I could be there.
00:36:32:15 - 00:36:35:21
Speaker 2
And that whether that was with church or with.
00:36:35:23 - 00:36:37:04
Speaker 1
With even while you were drinking.
00:36:37:08 - 00:36:59:07
Speaker 2
Yeah. Yeah. It was that was the only thing. Now when I do talk to people about what it's like to relapse and, and kind of being aware of sobriety, if you're drinking again, it's not everybody makes it back. Yeah. And that's not like people like live a long life drinking. That's like a lot of people die. Yep. And, I'm lucky I made it back.
00:36:59:07 - 00:37:15:15
Speaker 2
And I actually was kind of living at some point. I was definitely living with an awareness that I was very close to death and was just kind of like, let's just get it over with. Just just because it's stressful being so close to it.
00:37:15:17 - 00:37:16:10
Speaker 3
Yeah.
00:37:16:12 - 00:37:21:12
Speaker 2
And and actually recovering from it seems pretty, pretty hard.
00:37:21:14 - 00:37:22:06
Speaker 3
Yeah. Yeah.
00:37:22:08 - 00:37:28:23
Speaker 2
So I didn't know if I was ready for that. I didn't I thought I was maybe I could just succumb to it.
00:37:29:01 - 00:37:30:11
Speaker 1
And then you didn't.
00:37:30:13 - 00:37:31:14
Speaker 2
Thank God. Yeah.
00:37:31:16 - 00:37:41:02
Speaker 1
Well, do you think, God do you think it was God that saved you? Because, you know, in the rooms of a lot of people say God swooped in and saved, mean for a purpose, or do you feel that?
00:37:41:04 - 00:38:13:22
Speaker 2
Yeah, it was for me. It was like, I was it was through the possibility of getting a parking ticket. What I because I, I was, I, I called somebody and said, like, I need but before I called somebody and said that I needed help, I went and drove my car to a canyon in Los Angeles in, like, Malibu area and basically walked into the canyon and left my car in an illegal parking spot on, like on some, like, Canyon Road.
00:38:14:00 - 00:38:39:12
Speaker 2
So L.A. And just thought that I wasn't going to make it back, you know, and at a bottle with me and I, I just came from the doctor, actually, and found out just how bad it was, and I, and then I thought, well, God, if if I decide to go back, I might have a parking ticket. And I don't want to, like, so I might as well just go back now so I don't get a parking ticket.
00:38:39:14 - 00:38:59:10
Speaker 2
It's kind of like this, like, thought, you know? And and I know that I was, like, looking for something to save. I was looking for a really great reason to not like, you know, like, tell myself that I was weak, you know, like, I you do want life. You don't need to go down in a burning flame like you don't need.
00:38:59:12 - 00:39:05:07
Speaker 2
You can you can do this kind of thing. And it's going to be hard. Yeah. And you got a lot of shit you got to handle.
00:39:05:08 - 00:39:07:19
Speaker 1
Do you feel so now? So you're six years.
00:39:08:01 - 00:39:20:08
Speaker 2
When I went to rehab, by the way, they said that my insurance covered it, but it didn't, that they were told like my I think my, my wife said like, just tell them insurance is paying for it.
00:39:20:10 - 00:39:21:14
Speaker 1
Just to get you in there, just.
00:39:21:14 - 00:39:23:07
Speaker 2
To make sure I did it.
00:39:23:09 - 00:39:36:10
Speaker 1
Did you have it? Was it like a grip? Did you have to pay so much? Did. Ridiculous. Yeah. That is one of the amazing things about AA and you know, people feel different ways about it. I feel different ways about it. But it's free and, you know, thank God. Right.
00:39:36:10 - 00:39:56:14
Speaker 2
Yeah. And if and if and if for unfortunately for me, I couldn't I wouldn't have lived going to and I had to go to a hospital really. Because when I got into rehab, they, they tried to keep me alive for a couple days, by giving me, you know, there's nurses in there and they're trying to there.
00:39:56:14 - 00:40:03:13
Speaker 2
Evening. You out there? You know, I was taking benzos and drinking, which are the two things that'll kill you if you just stop. If you're if you're. Wait.
00:40:03:13 - 00:40:05:17
Speaker 1
So you got to do drugs in rehab?
00:40:05:19 - 00:40:07:23
Speaker 2
Well, they were giving me out of n.
00:40:08:00 - 00:40:10:08
Speaker 1
I should have gone to rehab. That's awesome.
00:40:10:08 - 00:40:19:04
Speaker 2
Well, they give people that if to coming down from, like, major detoxing. And so I started having delirium tremors. I mean, I was,
00:40:19:04 - 00:40:30:09
Speaker 2
I was having full conversations in the backyard of this rehab, with nobody, nobody I there's a dog there. I thought that was there. That wasn't there. I was talking on a TV remote, thinking it was a phone.
00:40:30:11 - 00:40:45:05
Speaker 2
I mean, and they were basically watching me, and I know somebody that they came in the day that I came into rehab. She was really, like, young. She's like 17 and I see her in meetings still. And she was like, it was wild because everybody there was kind of following you around.
00:40:45:07 - 00:40:46:12
Speaker 1
To make sure you didn't.
00:40:46:14 - 00:41:06:11
Speaker 2
Yeah. And they were like, don't tell them that that's not a phone. You know, like and so then in the middle of the night they found me naked like in the backyard of the rehab, seizure. And so they rushed me to the hospital because at that point, they couldn't they weren't equipped to keep me comfortable and alive.
00:41:06:15 - 00:41:34:17
Speaker 2
Yeah. And then I woke up days and days later in a hospital and all I really remember. And it's so weird that this moment is a memory. It's. I can see it was. Well, because when I, my arm is all bruised up and they were like, yeah, they couldn't get an IV into you and you and and what I remember was, is that when I was getting rolled down the hallway and I could see the ceiling and a doctor and I remember getting to the hospital, but I was like, somehow awake.
00:41:34:17 - 00:41:36:01
Speaker 2
And I bet it was because they were like.
00:41:36:16 - 00:41:45:14
Speaker 2
He goes, Nick, I'm so sorry, Mr. Thune or whatever. You're strapped down because you've been combative. We're trying to save your life. And then it was just like I was out.
00:41:45:14 - 00:41:46:08
Speaker 1
Oh my God.
00:41:46:08 - 00:41:52:03
Speaker 2
And I mean, like, I guess I did. I punched somebody and I did some shit, and, I don't know, like, I was trying to.
00:41:52:03 - 00:41:52:23
Speaker 1
Talk about a man's.
00:41:52:23 - 00:41:53:20
Speaker 2
Fighting behind.
00:41:53:20 - 00:41:54:03
Speaker 3
Them.
00:41:54:06 - 00:42:07:05
Speaker 2
Oh, yeah. They were. I mean, it was funny because it was like the hospital was so empty, too, because when I, when I woke up at, like, eventually it was like walking around with a, like holding my I.V., like, like as if I was like a really.
00:42:07:07 - 00:42:08:04
Speaker 3
Like a real.
00:42:08:08 - 00:42:24:14
Speaker 2
Like, sick patient or something. But there was, like, everybody was just, like, kind of working our, like, desks. And people were like, oh, God. And it was like, the back's open. But when I, when they were like, okay, they're going to take me back to rehab, I was like, where's my clothes? And they're like, oh, your wife came and picked them up.
00:42:24:16 - 00:42:37:10
Speaker 2
And they and because they didn't want me to know that I had come in naked because they, they were because I was asking about clothes over and over again. And I was very concerned about my clothes, I guess, like, what happened to, like, you know.
00:42:37:10 - 00:42:37:23
Speaker 1
You're a fashion.
00:42:37:23 - 00:42:42:12
Speaker 2
Player. And they were like, hey, just tell him that his clothes are fine.
00:42:42:14 - 00:42:43:02
Speaker 1
Wow.
00:42:43:02 - 00:42:45:00
Speaker 2
Or else he's going to be even more confused.
00:42:45:00 - 00:42:49:05
Speaker 1
I love that you were thinking about you drip. You know you're in there instead of about.
00:42:49:05 - 00:43:08:01
Speaker 2
I remember the outfit I showed up with, and I do remember the guy's birthdays. You know, the outfit that I walked into rehab with. I was wearing, like, a really great, like, a brim hat with, like, a black, like, leather jacket and, like, black pants. And I remember the guy goes this, look at this Luke Skywalker looking motherfucker, like the security guard said, that woman.
00:43:08:03 - 00:43:10:22
Speaker 2
And I'm like, I was like, I don't know, that's Luke Skywalker, right?
00:43:11:00 - 00:43:12:07
Speaker 1
So I wasn't really going for that.
00:43:12:07 - 00:43:15:16
Speaker 2
And I blew A37.
00:43:15:18 - 00:43:17:01
Speaker 1
Yeah, fucking go bigger go.
00:43:17:02 - 00:43:24:09
Speaker 2
I was just having great conversation. They were like, hey, you seem so normal and likable and like.
00:43:24:11 - 00:43:27:20
Speaker 1
Do people still think you're normal? And like, now that you don't drink?
00:43:27:22 - 00:43:49:19
Speaker 2
Yeah, I think I'm definitely different. You know, I'm I'm also older. I'm. Yeah. But I, I also don't need to go places and I don't need to be seen and I don't like I think there was a version of me that like would be like, oh, go and have a drink. And then like run into somebody or like have a thing and be involved in a party.
00:43:49:21 - 00:43:51:20
Speaker 2
And I just could care less now.
00:43:51:22 - 00:44:08:18
Speaker 1
Right? I agree with you that age is a real gift. If we alcoholics are lucky enough to mature into our later ages, you just lose some of that urge to be the center of it all. You know? Now the center of it all is home is doing work on.
00:44:08:18 - 00:44:17:04
Speaker 2
Yeah, I appear I'm missing out of my couch. Yes. That's I don't I I'm like God, I wonder I hope my couch is okay right now.
00:44:17:10 - 00:44:19:19
Speaker 1
Yeah. Right. You better get back to me.
00:44:19:21 - 00:44:26:02
Speaker 2
I know, I mean, I've looked at dogs before and been like, you lucky piece of shit. Yes. You just get to do this all day.
00:44:26:02 - 00:44:29:06
Speaker 1
I think that all the time. Everyone loves you and tells you you're great.
00:44:29:11 - 00:44:32:14
Speaker 2
Yeah. And then we leave and you're like, Where do you go? We don't know what you.
00:44:32:14 - 00:44:37:01
Speaker 1
Do, right? What do you lick your balls? You, you you know, whatever you will look out the window.
00:44:37:01 - 00:44:39:12
Speaker 2
I do love when people have cameras of the house and they're like, checking on.
00:44:39:12 - 00:45:40:04
Speaker 1
They're right. We're doing nothing. They're sleeping. They're absolutely sleeping.
00:45:40:06 - 00:45:57:14
Speaker 1
So you're a comedian. And the thing about sobriety, it's not like that. Funny. You know, like, here's what I'm basing it on. So I'm new to social media, but because of this, I really dislike it. But because of this show, we do it right. We want to grow the show. You want to spread the word. We're doing this show for a reason.
00:45:57:14 - 00:46:19:03
Speaker 1
We want to spread the word about sobriety, whatever that means to you. But funny shit as well on the on the socials. And it's hard to be funny, I feel about this topic, as a comedian, I assume you draw on your own life experiences. So how do you make it? How do you make it funny? It sounds like it sees me funny.
00:46:19:03 - 00:46:26:11
Speaker 1
Now, I don't mean no no, I just mean, you know. Where do you find the humor in all of this? Debasement and destruction?
00:46:26:11 - 00:46:49:11
Speaker 2
I don't I don't really talk about this in my not. Not because I'm hiding it. Because I'm not afraid to talk about it is not funny. No, but I, I really am like a person my age. The the humor that I really love is not in reality. It's not like like I like Steve Martin. I like I like people that are taking me out of something less.
00:46:49:12 - 00:46:49:20
Speaker 1
Yeah.
00:46:50:01 - 00:47:21:16
Speaker 2
And I love people that tell stories of their life. And I love really like comedians. They can talk about current events and do it really well. I don't have that bone in me. I mean, I could maybe do it, but I don't have the drive to and I, I think it's great. Some other people do, but I, I really like to just be silly and I would I think the best response anybody could ever give a joke that I tell on stage is to to like, be laughing and turning to the person next to them and be like, ashamed that you're laughing like that.
00:47:21:16 - 00:47:23:19
Speaker 2
Like that was just stupid.
00:47:23:21 - 00:47:24:09
Speaker 1
Awesome.
00:47:24:09 - 00:47:44:17
Speaker 2
Like, how did he trick me into laughing at that? And that's a gift. That's what I like. But, I, I when I was in rehab, they took me to, to do shows at the improv because I, I was so scared that I wasn't going to be able to go on stage anymore. Yeah. Or I didn't know, like, I didn't know what was going to happen.
00:47:44:17 - 00:47:48:05
Speaker 2
And so I, they had nurses like, take me to a comedy.
00:47:48:05 - 00:47:50:07
Speaker 1
Club and got your muscles.
00:47:50:09 - 00:48:10:04
Speaker 2
Yeah. And I remember like, I wrote a joke. I wrote a joke in rehab and I did it on stage and it worked. And I thought, okay, so this is a good this is like a good beginning to me coming back. And I also just need to kind of come back and refine myself and know that the fear is gone, actually, because when you have a job, fear.
00:48:10:04 - 00:48:11:16
Speaker 1
Of not being funny or the fear, oh.
00:48:11:16 - 00:48:31:20
Speaker 2
The fear of not being able to make it off stage, you know, like because there is no way to like, temper how drunk or high you are. And at some point you're going to get into some problems. You're going to be too drunk on stage, you know, vomit while you're on stage, you're going to, your your energy is not going to be up.
00:48:31:20 - 00:48:36:20
Speaker 2
You're going to like, you're going to be hung over it. You're going to, you know, all these things. And that's a lot to worry about.
00:48:37:01 - 00:48:37:12
Speaker 1
Yes it is.
00:48:37:12 - 00:49:00:02
Speaker 2
It has nothing to do with my actual job. So I'm in the midst of creating all these things that are making my job harder when it's already a pretty hard job for not for me, but like, it's not like and not like I'm an expert. Like, it's just what I like to do. I know how to do it, but I think it's the hard parts of the job or the hard parts of anyone else's job.
00:49:00:04 - 00:49:20:05
Speaker 2
The hard parts are being on, being professional, being on time, showing people that you're working hard, that you're respecting their time. You know, because that's the thing is, that was so disrespectful. The audience is for me to go in there drunk.
00:49:20:07 - 00:49:21:05
Speaker 1
Yeah.
00:49:21:07 - 00:49:31:19
Speaker 2
Yeah. And and it wasn't bad until it got bad and, and it luckily I got sober before it really exploded on stage. Thank God, thank God.
00:49:31:21 - 00:49:38:16
Speaker 1
Yeah. Right. Thank God. Because how do you come back from that even if you're given the chance, the shame of it. All this shit.
00:49:38:18 - 00:49:39:13
Speaker 2
Oh, I had yeah.
00:49:39:13 - 00:49:41:03
Speaker 1
Shame of it all.
00:49:41:05 - 00:50:02:04
Speaker 2
I had shame I, I, I, I actually did a whole, like, art kind of painting series called In Need of Shame because I, I for a long time. Well, I felt a lot of shame. I felt a lot of shame my whole life. I was like, kind of taught to be shameful when I was young. And so.
00:50:02:06 - 00:50:02:23
Speaker 1
What?
00:50:03:01 - 00:50:22:03
Speaker 2
Yeah. Just like sexually and, you know, all this stuff, like, it was like I, you know, I wasn't allowed to. I was like, it was church, you know, it was like this church thing, and. And like, we're not going to teach you about safe sex because we want you to learn about abstinence, right? And saving for marriage. So we're not going to tell you what to do because we want you to get chlamydia when you're 17.
00:50:22:08 - 00:50:23:20
Speaker 1
Right? That's the goal, isn't it?
00:50:23:20 - 00:50:25:08
Speaker 2
Yeah. So the,
00:50:25:10 - 00:50:28:09
Speaker 1
At your confirmation, right. You get like a Bible, you know, we.
00:50:28:09 - 00:50:39:00
Speaker 2
We we actually want you to get STDs. Yes. We know that you're going to. And with your track record, we're definitely not going to. Since I've been, you've been, like, stealing things from grocery stores. You're definitely going to be having sex, right?
00:50:39:00 - 00:50:41:15
Speaker 1
It sounds a lot like chlamydia. Yeah.
00:50:41:17 - 00:51:00:21
Speaker 2
Yeah, but, that that shame so bad that I'm in need of shame like I do like. Not that I feel like deserve shame or need it, but like, being able to see shame. You know, the idea of being shameless. Yeah. I don't like to be. I don't want to be shameless. I want to have. I want to be able to see shame a little bit.
00:51:00:21 - 00:51:02:09
Speaker 1
And because it's guardrails.
00:51:02:09 - 00:51:03:06
Speaker 2
Yeah.
00:51:03:08 - 00:51:09:01
Speaker 1
Right. I will feel ashamed if I do this terrible thing. So maybe I shouldn't do it.
00:51:09:06 - 00:51:18:09
Speaker 2
Yeah. And I, I feel shame at the grocery store. Like an old woman would be like. Can you reach that cereal for me? And I'll say, do it yourself.
00:51:18:10 - 00:51:20:05
Speaker 1
Yeah, but you should be ashamed.
00:51:20:05 - 00:51:22:18
Speaker 2
And I feel like shame that turns.
00:51:22:20 - 00:51:23:19
Speaker 3
Yeah.
00:51:23:21 - 00:51:27:01
Speaker 1
I thought I was the only one who did that, and.
00:51:27:03 - 00:51:34:17
Speaker 2
No, I that's maybe one of the best moments that that happens maybe like two, two times a year at grocery store. Yeah. Excuse me. Could you get that for me?
00:51:34:19 - 00:51:50:15
Speaker 1
Listen, I think I could talk to you all day. I really appreciate your honesty. And again, to talk to somebody who operated through the world of using the way I did is oddly comforting. So thank you for that.
00:51:50:15 - 00:51:51:05
Speaker 2
Thank you.
00:51:51:06 - 00:51:52:06
Speaker 1
I appreciate you.
00:51:52:06 - 00:52:00:17
Speaker 2
Been very nice. It's a matter of I promote my website. I was going to say Arby's dot com.
00:52:00:18 - 00:52:05:03
Speaker 2
I mean, you pretty much could just Google my name. No there's a there's no other Nixons.
00:52:05:03 - 00:52:06:01
Speaker 1
Yaphet Kotto.
00:52:06:02 - 00:52:22:14
Speaker 2
Yeah okay. Yeah. Cat Stevens. Yes. A yeah. Just. Yeah. Nixon.com/um gmail that that's.
00:52:22:16 - 00:52:25:14
Speaker 2
Stored.
00:52:25:16 - 00:52:42:08
Speaker 1
All right. Awesome. Now I'm going to walk here and you're going to look at that camera and say who you are and check out your episode on Soberness with Cat Greenleaf. Duck not.com with Cat Greenleaf only. Okay. Dot com.
00:52:42:10 - 00:52:48:15
Speaker 2
Hello. My name is Nick Thune, and I really hope that you can check out my episode of Sorbet sober.
00:52:48:17 - 00:52:49:17
Speaker 1
It's called Soberness.
00:52:49:17 - 00:52:50:10
Speaker 2
Soberness.
00:52:50:10 - 00:52:51:04
Speaker 1
Soberness.
00:52:51:06 - 00:52:51:23
Speaker 2
With Cat.
00:52:51:23 - 00:52:58:08
Speaker 1
Greenleaf. I'm Cat Greenleaf and he's Nick Thune. Take to the show is called Soberness.
00:52:58:10 - 00:53:12:15
Speaker 2
Hey, my name is Nick. Soon please watch Soberness with Cat Greenleaf. That's actually I'm not Cat, so I don't want you guys to get excited. I that I am a guest of hers, and I am. Is that what you do? Is that your pronoun for you?
00:53:12:17 - 00:54:02:05
Speaker 1
Yeah, I feel pretty good about that. Watch him on my show. There's, like.